While it might seem like safe words are a BDSM scene only, that’s definitely not the case. There are plenty of sexual situations where a safe word should be incorporated into your play, and yes, that includes one-night stands if the two of you are doing anything intense. It doesn’t matter if it’s no strings dating or a regular hookup that you’ve met from SocialSex–a safe word makes both of you much more comfortable, and adds a level of security and safety to the situation that you didn’t have before. Safe words are for both parties, and they insure that you both are getting exactly what you want out of the situation…and not more than you can absolutely handle.
What is a Safe Word, Anyway?
Where Will You Use It?
Safe words can literally be used at any point in the bedroom. For example, assume you’re hooking up with a girl that’s into a bit of soft-core bondage. That means that she likes tying you up, or likes being tied up. Either way, there are ropes and tying involved, and that’s the kind of thing that gets her going. Most people have given this a shot at one point or another, and that’s fine. It’s a fun way to have an evening for sure. That being said, you should still have a safe word in place, and make sure that it’s respected. It can be something as ridiculous as ‘pineapple’ or ‘Einstein’, and if at any point you feel uncomfortable while you’re strung up in her bed, you can say the word and she should know to either stop what she’s doing, or release you entirely. Either way, this is the word that stops any role-play or consent play that’s being used. It’s the word that makes both of you come to a stop and realize that hey, something’s not quite right, and it first and foremost keeps both of you safe. Again: you can literally use your safe word at any point, and so can she. It’s designed to be used that way, so if at any point you feel uncomfortable, you can use your safe word to bring play to an end. If you have the right partner, even on no strings dating, you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable about using your safe word. That’s literally its purpose, so make use of it because you did take the time to establish it!
Oh, The Problems it Will Solve
Your safe word is going to get you out of a lot of trouble–trust us! If you have a one-night stand in Winnipeg with a lady that’s really into some Dom/sub stuff, your safe word is going to take any question out of consent play. It’s going to make it very easy for the two of you to get into character and to have a good time without worrying about consent actually being an issue, especially if it’s been discussed thoroughly beforehand. Safe words seriously do solve a lot of problems, though. If you’re in the middle of a consent play scene, the use of a safe word can really mean the difference between following her wishes or getting throw in jail for a rape accusation. Safe words are the kind of thing that actually keep the BDSM community up, active, and safe, and that’s why it’s ridiculous to operate in any sort of sexual scenario without one having been mentioned at least once. Having a safe word is just a responsible, safe thing to do, and that’s why if you want to really be into the hookup and one-night stand scene, it’s important with some sexual scenarios to have a safe word already on your mind. Discuss it with your partner for the evening, and make sure she knows it’s in place if either of you need to use it. It will make your evenings that much more enjoyable, and the two of you won’t have much to worry about.
It Makes You Sound Responsible
Even if you never use your safe word even once, it’s a responsible thing to talk to your partner for the evening about, and it’s going to make you sound like you know what you’re doing–even if you’re actually pretty inexperienced. If there’s one thing a woman loves, its confidence, and knowing your stuff about safe words and how they work in the bedroom can really cover your butt when it comes to any sort of odd sexual scenario that the two of you have never had a chance to act out before. In general, having a safe word is just a smart idea in every single regard. It doesn’t matter if you’re an experienced kinkster, or if you’re the kind of guy that has only ever poked and prodded around the more vanilla sides of everything in your sex life before. A safe word is an important tool in your hookup arsenal, and that’s why for your one-night stand kit, you should always at least have one sitting around in the wings in the event she wants to string you up and poke at you with a crop for a little bit. Having one, even if you never end up using it, will make you that much more comfortable.