Dating is a minefield. Not literally, that would be dangerous, unless you were dating a minesweeper. But figuratively, it is full of pitfalls, pratfalls, and a myriad of other places you can screw up and ruin the possibility of spending the rest of your life with Mr. Right. However, that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be attempted. Done right, dating can be the portal to an entirely new world, an entirely new you, and an entirely new love life.
The trick to dating is to make sure that you are confident in yourself. This is easier said than done. Often when people are dating, they are at a low point in their lives, either just out of a relationship, or worried that they will never find someone new, and that guys simply do not like them. This is completely not true, but it is still a mental virus which travels through our brains. The trick then is to fake it ’til you make it. You have to believe yourself to be confident, and then you will outwardly express the right characteristics. To do this, there are three key components to making sure that you come across as the most confident women in the room…
A big mistake people make, especially on first dates is to clam up. They are so worried about revealing all of their idiosyncrasies that they end up revealing nothing of their personality at all. We have all been on dates with people like this, and no doubt behaved like this on dates ourselves. They are the quiet ones, who you try to get to open up and tell you a bit about themselves, but will only answer with yes, or no, or the most brief of comments.
Don’t let this be you.
Make sure you have engaging and interesting stories to tell. Most people think they are dull and have nothing to say, but nothing could be further from the truth. Everyone had something funny happen to them in their childhood. Hell, everyone probably had something funny happen to them last week. Talk about what you love, what you want to do, what you wanted to do, your favorite foods, films, flowers, whatever – just make sure you have something to say.
… but not too open
But obviously do not take it too far. Conversation is good, but when you start to dominate conversation and turn it round to be all about you, and feel like you want to tell this person everything, then it is time to shut up. You can be more and more open as you get to know the person, but try not to lay everything on the table immediately. This is a real turn-off for guys, as they end up thinking about exactly how much of your life together you are going to share with everyone.
Finally, it is important to maintain some mystery. If you lay yourself out on the table (OK, he might like that!), then you are an open book. He can tell everything about you and there will be no allure or mystery, and therefore no reason really for further dates. If instead you make sure you are holding something back, teasing information, and giving him little glimpses into your thoughts and personality, then he will always want to come back to find out more.
Leave The Baggage At Home
Lastly, even if you do end up talking a lot, there are always going to be some topics that are off limits, particularly at the start of dating and at the start of a relationship. If you had a bad break up previously, or have had a hard time in life in general, then think about the right time to talk about this. It is unlikely to be when you are having your starters on date one. That isn’t to say you these topics are taboo forever more, of course you should talk about them eventually, but negative talk, particularly regarding previous boyfriends is going to start your new relationship off on the wrong foot. You should be thinking about how great this opportunity is, rather than worrying about how bad previous partners were.
Following these simple rules can make sure that any guy you date is calling back within a day for a second date, and that you have the chance to meet new people and really engage with them in a meaningful way.